Based on the autobiography Ainda Estou Aqui by Marcelo Rubens Paiva, and written by Murilo Hauser and Heitor Lorega, I’m Still Here is based on the real-life story of the Paiva’s family, where Rubens (Selton Mello) and Eunice (Fernanda Torres) live a moderately normal life with their five children in 1971. Their home is not too far from the beach in Rio de Janeiro, and days are spent with family and friends coming and going, and their kids live a happy, innocent existence where even a stray dog is casually taken in and becomes part of the lively household.

But for all the sun-kissed Brazilian setup, there are momentary visual clues to a less settled city signified through what we see through Eunice’s viewpoint, from a military helicopter lurking overhead when she’s out swimming, to a slow increase of the volume of army trucks, unmissable against the backdrop of the beachfront. A situation is even more apparent when one of their younger daughters is out driving with friends, playing music and causing no trouble, when their car is pulled over at a military roadblock and they’re forced to prove who they are – a further early indication of a dark underbelly that’s prevalent.
It then comes to light, via news reports and consequential discussions, that ambassadors are being kidnapped and disappearing, and while the Paiva’s family appear to suggest they don’t believe their lives will be effected, we learnt that Rubens was once a Congressman in Brazil, and has opposed the military dictatorship that now exists in his country and so, it’s not long before he’s also taken in for ‘questioning’… but the Army deny any knowledge of his arrest. Family life is immediately turned on its head, which becomes worse when Eunice is also taken in – and forced towards giving away information she does not have. By the conditions she’s placed in, it’s clear this isn’t an ordinary procedure, where acts of army intimidation and sensory depravity are implemented to try and get her to say what they want to hear, but she’s eventually released after they can’t gather anything they want.

When home, the visual act of her taking a shower represents the dehumanizing dirt you can’t wash off, no matter how hard you scrub, but even at her lowest point, you sense she might be looking for a way to fight back, no matter how long it takes. Instead, Eunice realises she’ll have to reinvent life for herself and her family, while continuing to try and hope that her husband is either alive or out there, we see her inner strength grow and grow. Overtime, it’ll take a few decades to get the result she wants but you always get a sense that she’ll never embed the trauma she’s gone through onto her children, always making sure she remains strong, in the most difficult circumstances. Director Walter Salles oversees every situation intelligently, from the early carefree touch to the latter darker moments, and I never felt it was melodramatic in extreme situations.
The story, and the character, in the middle of I’m Still Here is held together and kept compelling with an expert portrayal from Fernanda Torres as Eunice; it’s an outstanding performance. Her strength, calmness and resolve make her easy to strive for and, as you’re aware this memoir is written by her son, you take in the deep respect throughout the story. It’s also worth noting that Salles’ film arrives during an interesting era with a clear instability in world politics, where the idea of fighting a system that seems corrupt and to only benefit those in power can seem impossible to break, but her story is once of vital political success – and you’ll witness the results.


I’m Still Here is poignant and pressured in equal measure, it’s also considered in its filming techniques and so you fall into the world very quickly, which is an impressive testament to both the filmmakers and actors involved. It feels authentic, tragic, and brilliant; a reminder that human stories must always be told, and remembered, especially when they’re represented in this manner, with such an inspiring show of grace and individual strength.





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